I Miss You
by LoveisRuthless
Summary: A rewrite of my story When I Needed You The Most


AN: Hey guys. This is a rewrite of my story When I Needed You The Most. So many of you have favorited it and it inspired me to reread what I wrote. I was not at all impressed with what I wrote. There are many things I wanted to change and make the story flow better. Anyway here is the first chapter I cranked out today. I eliminated a couple of my characters and changed some settings. Here is the first chapter, hope you like it!

_My Dearest Bella,_

_First of all, I am so sorry, my love. I wish I did not have to do this, but I have no other choice. It is the only way to keep you safe. I am leaving. Not just me, but the whole family. It is the only way we can keep you safe. We care deeply about you, Bella. We all love you so much. It would hurt us so much if something happened to you because of us. Please do not go looking for us. Be safe, Bella. _

_I love you with all my heart,_

_Your Edward_

It has been thirty-five years since I've seen _him_. Thirty-five years since that coward left a note and disappeared without a trace. I really have no right to be bitter. I still have the note. I carry it around with me everywhere. You would think by now I would have gotten over it, over _him_, but how do you expect someone to just get past the person they felt was the love of their life? Don't get me wrong, I have gone on the occasional date per Riley's request over the past couple of years, but I find myself comparing them all to _him_.

Just in case you were wondering, I am not some fifty-three year-old cat lady. A few months after _he_ and the rest of his family left, I became friends with Jacob Black. He pulled me out of my zombie-like state of mourning over lost love. Once day I had been out on my own, determined to find the meadow I once shared with him. I found it…and it wasn't unoccupied. Victoria was leaning casually against a tree, an amused smirk on her face. Before I could say a word, something blindsided me from behind sending me to the ground and taking a chunk of skin out of my neck. I could hear Victoria laughing in the background. I knew it had been a vampire that bit me by the burn in my neck, and it wasn't Victoria.

Whoever it was that attacked me was soon gone from my neck, but not for long. There were three more bites taken from my body: one from my left wrist, another from my right side, and the last one from my right shoulder. I wished this vampire would just drain me already and let me die. Victoria stopped whoever was attacking me and left me with a message, "You didn't think I would just let you die, did you? I know Edward left you, _Isabella_," she spat. The use of _his_ name had caused another kind of pain. "Now you get to live an eternity without your precious Edward. You are truly alone now, Bella," with an evil laugh she left.

Just after she vanished a bunch of the werewolves ran into the meadow. It had only been a day since Jacob had told me he became a werewolf. "She's been changed. There is nothing we can do now," I had heard Sam say. I heard Jacob yelp in pain, and then run off. They left me there. People I had called my friends left me. As I lay there I felt the truth to Victoria's words.

After the fire had ended I felt the burn in my throat from thirst. I ignored it. For weeks I wandered through the Washington forests, avoiding blood at all costs. I soon collapsed from hunger. I thought I just might die out there. I wanted to, but I was soon found. Two wandering nomads, a guy and a girl, found me. They stood out to me. Both had gold eyes. From my dazed state, I couldn't make out much of what they were saying, but soon I could smell the sweet blood of a deer hovering close to my mouth. The girl lifted my head to the animal and I drank. After I finished that they helped me drink some more. Soon the daze cleared away and I felt stronger than ever.

I sat with the nomads for awhile none of us saying anything. I took the time to look at them. The girl had beautiful blonde hair, a few shades darker than Rosalie's. It lay just past her shoulders with bangs framing her face. She was beautiful. Her small smile and warm eyes were inviting and friendly. The guy was tall, probably about six foot five. He had short, messy brown hair, and his facial features made him look like a model.

I finally spoke to them, telling them thank you. They didn't ask anything about being changed, why I had starved myself, or anything else. They invited me back to their cabin in the woods. I accepted. We became fast friends.

I found out Riley and Jason had been together for 10 years, but had never gotten married. Neither wanted to when they knew they would be around for so long, though they both had wedding bands. Over the next thirty five years, we became a family. I rarely felt like a third wheel to them. Riley and Jason had become my best friends. I told them everything about me from my human life up to when they found me. When I told them about _him,_ Jason took an instant hate to him, while Riley understood where he came from.

We had now been together for thirty-five years. During that time we lived in their cabin in the forest, but now we were moving back to the city. We decided on a suburb of Seattle on Lake Washington. Riley and Jason wanted to get out of our bubble from the forest and I wanted to finish school. We were all ready for school to start. Riley went crazy at the mall back to school shopping while Jason and I sat back and rolled our eyes at her.

Today was our first day and I couldn't help but sit on the edge of my bed and stare at that damn letter from _him_. It taunted me "_Please don't go looking for us_." I know when he wrote it he meant if I was human not to go looking for them, but what if I was a vampire? Would he want me to go looking then? I knew I never would, but I couldn't help but wonder. I hated myself for holding on for so long, for missing him so much. I was pathetic. He probably moved on. I doubt he still loved me. There was no way. I needed to give up and move on. I crumpled up the letter into a ball, like so many times before, and had my hand poised over the garbage can, ready to drop it in, and let go once and for all.

"Bella?" Riley knocked on my open door and walked into the room. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, just let me grab my stuff, be down in a second," I told her. She didn't notice the letter. She had caught me so many times before like this. Every time I just hadn't been ready. I cried on her shoulder and cursed him over and over. I stared at the crumpled ball in my hand. I smoothed the paper back out carefully and folded it neatly, putting it back in my wallet. _I will throw it away tonight, after school. I just need it to get through today._


End file.
